


Good Enough

by Heckyheck_Icravedeath



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Crying, Depression, Don't read if you haven't seen ffh yet, Feelings of not being good enough, Heavy Angst, I MEAN A BIG ONE, IM UPSET, Peter Parker Angst, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Mess, Peter needs love, Quentin Beck is a BITCH, RIP, Self-Blame, Self-Hatred, Spider-Man: Far From Home (Movie), Spider-Man: Far From Home (Movie) Spoilers, The Author Regrets Everything, and ffh, but im depressed, cries, it was good, that movie hurt me, this is unacceptable, tony stark is dead, with this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 13:35:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19813372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heckyheck_Icravedeath/pseuds/Heckyheck_Icravedeath
Summary: Maybe if you were good enough, Tony would still be alive.Ever since Mysterio uttered those words it was all Peter could think about. It was stuck in his brain and even if he tried to think about something else it didn’t work. His mind would always find a way to get him thinking about that sentence again.It was almost ironic because Peter had told himself that many times after Tony had died. He claimed that he hadn’t tried hard enough. He had claimed that if he did more or was better then he could’ve saved Tony.





	Good Enough

_Maybe if you were good enough, Tony would still be alive_. 

Ever since Mysterio uttered those words it was all Peter could think about. It was stuck in his brain and even if he tried to think about something else it didn’t work. His mind would always find a way to get him thinking about that sentence again. 

It was almost ironic because Peter had told himself that many times after Tony had died. He claimed that he hadn’t tried hard enough. He claimed that if he did more or was better then he could’ve saved Tony. 

Part of him knew he couldn’t put that kind of blame on himself. But a bigger part of him would sneer at the other side and say _you just don’t want to accept it. You’re hiding from the blame like the coward that you are. The coward that you always will be_. 

After a little while he had started to not blame himself. Mostly because May, Pepper and Happy would tell him night and day that it, in fact, _wasn’t_ his fault. They would always tell him that there were some things that couldn’t be controlled, and death was one of those things. They would also say that Tony knew. He knew he wouldn’t make it out and he was okay with that. He was okay with sacrificing himself for others to be happy. It was just how he was. 

Then Mysterio came along and threw it in Peter’s face again. He made Peter have to acknowledge it. He made Peter start to believe that again. 

_Maybe if you were good enough, Tony would still be alive_. 

But really where was the lie? Peter Parker wasn’t good enough. He never was and never would be. He was just a teenager who thought he was special, and it turned out he wasn’t. It turned out that Tony put all his trust in the wrong person. It turned out that the only thing Peter was good for was fucking things up. And he did that beautifully this time. Almost like every other time in his life when he was faced with important decisions. 

_Maybe if you were good enough. Good enough. Goodenoughgoodenoughgoodenough-_

_Maybe if you were good enough, your parents would still be alive. Maybe if you were good enough, Ben would still be alive. Maybe if you were good enough, Tony would still be alive_. 

It was him. He was the problem. They all died because of _him_. He wasn’t good enough. He let them all down. He was a _failure_. 

Mysterio was right. He was a terrible superhero. If you could even call him that. He hurt more people than he helped. 

On second thought he was a terrible everything. A terrible son. A terrible nephew. A terrible mentee. A terrible superhero. A terrible _person_. He was just _terrible_. And he knew it. He knew there was nothing good about him. He knew he wasn’t good enough. 

And that’s why he could _never_ live up to be the next IronMan.

That’s why he could _never_ fill in Tony’s shoes. 

All because he could _never_ be good enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Be depressed with me. It's depression hour. It always is with me tbh. 
> 
> Ahahah anyway this is like real short and I'm sorry, but hey it's angsty and kinda good, so it's f in e. 
> 
> I'm like kinda sick and shit, so there's that too fjdsjfsdajfkdj. 
> 
> Well I hope you liked it! Leave a like or comment!<33


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